A mother's worst nightmare

So in my previous post I talked about an experience we had at the beach that I never want to relive. I have had several people ask about it so here it goes.... I am hoping I don't get all emotional writing this.

We had been at the beach all day and we decided it was getting cold and it was time to change for the BBQ. Luke started packing up all our beach things and I took all 3 kids to the car to get changed. Nicholas was in such a hurry because he was so excited to play with his older cousins. He was the first one done and he begged me to let him go and be with everyone else. The parking lot was very close to the pits where all the family was. All you had to do was cross the sidewalk everyone biked on and it was to the left. So I walked him to the sidewalk and watched him cross, I saw he was going left towards the pit so I went back to the car to get the other kids dressed. That took about 5 more minutes. I go back to the pit and start talking to relatives. About 10 minutes later my mom asked where Nicholas was. I told her he was playing with Sam and Nate(my cousins). She tells me that he isn't with them. I haven't panicked yet because I am thinking he is with one of the other kids. I look around and don't see him ANYWHERE! This is when I get nervous. A ton of family broke off and went to look for him. We had people at the water, pits, lifeguard stations, everywhere! At this time I realize I was the last person to see him, 15 minutes ago!!!! I then start to hyperventilate and cry because I realize a lot can happen in 15 minutes. Everyone is calling his name and a few strangers start to look too. It is starting to get dark and in 10 minutes it would be really hard to look because there wouldn't be much light. Strangers start asking what he looks like. I could barely get the words out because I never thought I would be telling people to look for my son and describing what he looked like. It felt like eternity went by but I think it was maybe 10 minutes when my aunt yells that she found him at the bathroom further down waiting there. I think he was gone a total of 25 minutes, but honestly the whole thing was in slow motion that I couldn't tell you the exact time frame. He wasn't crying when we found him but the minute he saw Luke(who was crying pretty bad) he started to cry, and then he saw his hysterical mom which made him cry even more.

I can't even tell you how I was feeling. The FEAR I had when we couldn't find him and the JOY I had when we found him. I think my heart hurt for the rest of the night. I never want to experience that again. Him and Luke don't really like to talk about it. I actually think Luke took it harder than I did. I am so glad Nicholas is okay.

Lesson learned: I realized Nicholas is only 5. Since he is the oldest and most of the time acts like a pretty mature 5 yr old, I think he can do more than he really can. I have to remember he is ONLY 5 and things can still confuse him.